Navigating Grief on Valentine’s Day

As my fiance and I finish celebrating Valentine’s day, an interesting, albeit morbid thought, comes to my mind. I think about how integral we have become in each other’s lives and how I couldn’t imagine life without her. Then my mind wanders to all of my participants that have lost their significant others, siblings, or parents and the grief they feel from losing the love of their life. This grief does not follow a linear path and special occasions like Valentine’s Day can intensify feelings of loss, particularly for seniors who may already face feelings of loneliness. However, rather than succumbing to sorrow, it is possible to reframe the day as an opportunity to honor and cherish the love that remains. 

1. Embrace the Memories

Instead of avoiding Valentine’s Day, consider using it as a time to reflect on the beautiful memories you shared over a lifetime. Look through old photo albums, reread love letters, or listen to songs that remind you of your loved one. These moments can bring comfort and serve as a reminder that love transcends time and space.

2. Express Your Love in New Ways

Love, just like matter itself, does not disappear when someone passes; it simply changes form. Writing a letter to your departed loved one, lighting a candle in their memory, or even speaking aloud to them can be a way to keep that connection alive. Consider doing something they once loved, whether it’s cooking their favorite meal, reminiscing with family, or visiting a place that was special to both of you.

3. Stay Connected with Others

You don’t have to endure the day in solitude. Reach out to close friends, family members, or a senior support group. Many communities offer bereavement groups specifically for older adults who have lost their partners. Sharing stories and emotions can be incredibly healing, and you may find solace in the company of those who understand your journey.

Love That Lives On

Though the physical presence of a loved one may be gone, their love continues to shape our lives. I often think of a quote by Andrew Garfield: “Sadness is a gift in a way because it means you really loved somebody.” For seniors, Valentine’s Day, though bittersweet, can serve as a gentle reminder that love is not defined by time or proximity—it is something that remains within us, carried forward in our actions, thoughts, and the way we continue to love ourselves and others.  Living after loss is not about forgetting; it is about finding ways to move forward while carrying love with us. Perhaps on this Valentine’s Day, the best way to honor those who are no longer with us is to continue living with love for them, for ourselves, and cherishing the people that we still have in our lives.